Aiden / 11-10-12 / 7 years old

Jason was flipping through channels and stopped on a movie that I didn't approve of. I asked him to change it because the kids shouldn't watch that movie.
Aiden: "Why can't we watch it? Because it has things we shouldn't see?"
Me: "Yes"
Aiden: "Like fat people? Because I just seen one on there"

Aiden - November, 2012 - 7 years

Boys are NASTY.
I caught Aiden wiping his butt on a hand towel in the bathroom. His reason was that wet toilet paper worked better so he had to use the towel to dry his butt.
I then bought him a pack of those flushable wipes. I asked him if he had tried them out yet and he replied "No, I just have big bombs on Tuesdays and Fridays"

Aiden / 9-28-12 / 7 years old

Aiden was using glue to make a puppet and walked away from the table for a minute. He then noticed the bottle of glue in Carson's hand. He runs over quickly and says:
"CARSON NO! That's poison! It will kill you! Do you want to DIE Carson?!?!"

Aiden 8-15-12

Aiden: "my wiener cone keeps shifting and giving me a rash" (talking about his cup at football)

Aiden 8-16-12 / 7 years old

Blake "Aiden said the A word"

Me: "Aiden, did you say a swear word?"

Aiden: "No, I said an ass word"

Me: "That's a swear word Aiden"

Aiden: "Well I didn't know... and Blake said if I fixed his lego thing he wouldn't tell. Why does he get to black mail on me?"

Aiden 8/12/12 - 7 years

Aiden: It's no fair! Blake gets to watch shows that I can't watch

Me: It is fair... you can watch them when you're 10

Aiden: How is it my fault that he was born first??

Aiden 7/20/12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "I had fun at camp but one thing wasn't fun"
Me: "what was that"
Aiden: "These girls kept chasing me"
Me: "why were they chasing you"
Aiden: "because they LOVE me... they like my head." 
Me: "they like your head?"
Aiden: "yeah... they think I'm cute!"

Aiden 6/6/12 - 7 years old

Me: "Aiden, get your book out of your backpack so you can read to me." / Aiden looks in his backpack... Aiden: "well this is incortunate... there's no book in here" / Me: "you mean unfortunate?" / Aiden: "um... yeah"

6/5/12

Aiden 6/6/12 7 years old

This morning Aiden was taking forever to brush his teeth...
Me through the door: "you better not be messing around. I wouldn't appreciate you messing around instead of brushing your teeth"
Aiden opens the door: "I don't appreciate getting yelled at"
Me: "I didn't yell at you, I was just wondering what was taking so long"
Aiden: "Good... because if you had yelled at me, I wouldn't appreciate it"

Aiden - 5/26/12 - 7 years

Aiden: "Grandma is in danger because she lives by the forest and there may be badgers. Do badgers live in Michigan? You should check youtube." / me: "I don't think I would find that answer on youtube, Aiden" / Aiden: "hmmm.... google then."

Aiden 5/1/12 - 7 years

We were walking up the stairs to get into the house and Aiden's hands were full so I had to get past him and open the door. I bumped into him and he said:

"You almost knocked me off the steps crazy woman!"

Aiden Reading 4/30/12 - 7 years old

Aiden 4-30-12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "Blake, what if you were 38 years old? that would be gross right? That grosses me out..."

Aiden 4/17/12 - 7 years old

Blake asked for a massage and Aiden went up and started pounding on his back.... 

Blake said "what are you doing???" 

and Aiden said "It's a mature massage! Only grown ups can handle it!"

The following day he decided to start calling them "rated M massages"

Aiden 4/12/12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "dam dam dam dam" 

me: "don't say that, it's a bad word..." 

Aiden: "nope, it isn't... it's something beavers make... beaver dam dam dam dam..."

Aiden - almost 7 years 3-17-12

I just went in to tell the boys to be quiet. I said
"I better not hear anything once I leave this room." then Aiden farted... and said
"That surely doesn't count..."

Aiden - March 17th, 2012

3/22/2012 Aiden - 6½ (almost 7) years old.

on the way to school today, Blake asked me how old you have to be to go to preschool. 

Aiden said "I went to preschool... I remember those really old days... there were toys... and parties... "

3/16/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "Carson LITERALLY just hit me in the wiener."

3/17/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Me: "Aiden, if you don't drop the attitude we're not going to do anything fun for your birthday" 

Aiden: "Well, I'll still be a year older... that's something at least"

3/12/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "Mommy, how come only girls can lay babies?"

3/7/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "There's a prank in my room so be careful if you go in there. There's k-nex and lincoln logs that will vibrate and fall on your head when you open the door." Me: "maybe you should take them down so no one gets hurt." Aiden: "If you're not dumb, you have nothing to worry about... because I just told you they're up there.... "

2-20-2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden bumped into one of Carson's toys and it started playing music. He said:

 "My bad... don't worry, it will turn off."

2/13/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden wanted to take a shower before school and I told him he didn't have time (he just took one the night before anyway). He said "It won't take that long, I have a small body.... YOU would take a lot longer..."

1-25-12 - Aiden - 6½ years

I'm still in bed and Aiden is getting a little to eager to start packing for our move. He comes in and says: 

 "Mom, can I pack my toys now" ... and I say "not right now, go downstairs" ... so he says "Ok, I'll do it" ... and I say as he's leaving "Aiden! I said not now" ... and he replies "WELL... my thinking is that you're too tired to answer me... so I'm going to go ahead and do it" 

1-2-12 - Aiden - 6½ years

I was editing pictures of naked babies (including Carson) for a calender and Aiden walks up:

Aiden -  "what you doing?"

Me - "editing this picture"

Aiden - "I know what's wrong with it... Carson doesn't have any underwear on and I can see his nuts a little bit"