11/22/2014 - aiden 9½ years

12-18-2014 / 9½ years old

Aiden: "Mom, I need to show you something. Blake's toothbrush is completely dry. There's no way he brushed his teeth before school"
Me: "Aiden, stop trying to get your brother in trouble"
Aiden: "I'm trying to help him! I don't want his teeth to get bad."
Me: "No, you are trying to get him in trouble..."
Aiden: "Really? You don't want me to help him.... Isn't that what Christmas is all about?!"

October 15th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years

 Aiden: "mom, I think I have a problem. When I run or jump the middle of my stomach hurts. It's not like I'm not in shape... because I'm definitely in shape... I have no idea why"

September 12th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years

 Aiden last night when he was watching the kittens... "I can't believe that I came out of your butt. I learned that when I seen the baby cow be born. That's pretty gross. I always wondered how babies got out... ya know... like out of your mouth or what? I had no idea..."

August 4th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years

Carson was watching Elmo and Aiden says
 "why do they teach little kids about dinosaurs?? They don't even exist anymore. The kid is going to be like "oooh I want to see a real dinosaur" and they can't because they don't exist!"

July 12th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years

Aiden: If you're washing the poison off of our fruit... won't that make bugs get on them?

Me: No, it's in the house now, it should be fine
Aiden: Well if you throw an apple out the window and word gets out that the poison is gone... there are going to be bugs all over that.

May 14th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years

Aiden after his Spring Sing 2nd grade program
"I sure am glad I saved that fart for after the concert!"

May 10th, 2013 - Aiden 8 years old

Me: "what ya doing Aiden?"
Aiden: "Hanging out with you... since it's close to Mother's day... I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Just so you know... you might get a better present than Daddy on Father's day because I like you just a little bit better"

Aiden 4-25-13/ 8 years old

I had just taken Carson out of the bath and told Aiden to get in.
Aiden: "You should take a picture of me and Carson in the bath"
Me: "No, Carson's out already"
Aiden: "put him back in there. You could always make the picture squishy over the private parts"
Me: "squishy??"
Aiden: "yeah, like make squares over it of different shades"
Me: "you mean blurry?"
Aiden: "yeah... is that even legal?"

Aiden - 3-26-13 - almost 8 years old

Aiden was getting ready for school and I sent him in to brush his teeth. I look in there and he's washing his toothbrush (the handle) and I said "What are you doing? It's time to go..." and he looks at me like I'm stupid and says "um, it's Tuesday... I do this EVERY Tuesday..."

Aiden - February 17th, 2013. 7½ years old.

I caught Aiden getting a chocolate from his valentines box today and I said "hey what are you doing... it's almost dinner time" and he holds the chocolate out and goes "I was getting it for you mom, you ruined the surprise"

Aiden / 11-10-12 / 7 years old

Jason was flipping through channels and stopped on a movie that I didn't approve of. I asked him to change it because the kids shouldn't watch that movie.
Aiden: "Why can't we watch it? Because it has things we shouldn't see?"
Me: "Yes"
Aiden: "Like fat people? Because I just seen one on there"

Aiden - November, 2012 - 7 years

Boys are NASTY.
I caught Aiden wiping his butt on a hand towel in the bathroom. His reason was that wet toilet paper worked better so he had to use the towel to dry his butt.
I then bought him a pack of those flushable wipes. I asked him if he had tried them out yet and he replied "No, I just have big bombs on Tuesdays and Fridays"

Aiden / 9-28-12 / 7 years old

Aiden was using glue to make a puppet and walked away from the table for a minute. He then noticed the bottle of glue in Carson's hand. He runs over quickly and says:
"CARSON NO! That's poison! It will kill you! Do you want to DIE Carson?!?!"

Aiden 8-15-12

Aiden: "my wiener cone keeps shifting and giving me a rash" (talking about his cup at football)

Aiden 8-16-12 / 7 years old

Blake "Aiden said the A word"

Me: "Aiden, did you say a swear word?"

Aiden: "No, I said an ass word"

Me: "That's a swear word Aiden"

Aiden: "Well I didn't know... and Blake said if I fixed his lego thing he wouldn't tell. Why does he get to black mail on me?"

Aiden 8/12/12 - 7 years

Aiden: It's no fair! Blake gets to watch shows that I can't watch

Me: It is fair... you can watch them when you're 10

Aiden: How is it my fault that he was born first??

Aiden 7/20/12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "I had fun at camp but one thing wasn't fun"
Me: "what was that"
Aiden: "These girls kept chasing me"
Me: "why were they chasing you"
Aiden: "because they LOVE me... they like my head." 
Me: "they like your head?"
Aiden: "yeah... they think I'm cute!"

Aiden 6/6/12 - 7 years old

Me: "Aiden, get your book out of your backpack so you can read to me." / Aiden looks in his backpack... Aiden: "well this is incortunate... there's no book in here" / Me: "you mean unfortunate?" / Aiden: "um... yeah"

6/5/12

Aiden 6/6/12 7 years old

This morning Aiden was taking forever to brush his teeth...
Me through the door: "you better not be messing around. I wouldn't appreciate you messing around instead of brushing your teeth"
Aiden opens the door: "I don't appreciate getting yelled at"
Me: "I didn't yell at you, I was just wondering what was taking so long"
Aiden: "Good... because if you had yelled at me, I wouldn't appreciate it"

Aiden - 5/26/12 - 7 years

Aiden: "Grandma is in danger because she lives by the forest and there may be badgers. Do badgers live in Michigan? You should check youtube." / me: "I don't think I would find that answer on youtube, Aiden" / Aiden: "hmmm.... google then."

Aiden 5/1/12 - 7 years

We were walking up the stairs to get into the house and Aiden's hands were full so I had to get past him and open the door. I bumped into him and he said:

"You almost knocked me off the steps crazy woman!"

Aiden Reading 4/30/12 - 7 years old

Aiden 4-30-12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "Blake, what if you were 38 years old? that would be gross right? That grosses me out..."

Aiden 4/17/12 - 7 years old

Blake asked for a massage and Aiden went up and started pounding on his back.... 

Blake said "what are you doing???" 

and Aiden said "It's a mature massage! Only grown ups can handle it!"

The following day he decided to start calling them "rated M massages"

Aiden 4/12/12 - 7 years old

Aiden: "dam dam dam dam" 

me: "don't say that, it's a bad word..." 

Aiden: "nope, it isn't... it's something beavers make... beaver dam dam dam dam..."

Aiden - almost 7 years 3-17-12

I just went in to tell the boys to be quiet. I said
"I better not hear anything once I leave this room." then Aiden farted... and said
"That surely doesn't count..."

Aiden - March 17th, 2012

3/22/2012 Aiden - 6½ (almost 7) years old.

on the way to school today, Blake asked me how old you have to be to go to preschool. 

Aiden said "I went to preschool... I remember those really old days... there were toys... and parties... "

3/16/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "Carson LITERALLY just hit me in the wiener."

3/17/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Me: "Aiden, if you don't drop the attitude we're not going to do anything fun for your birthday" 

Aiden: "Well, I'll still be a year older... that's something at least"

3/12/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "Mommy, how come only girls can lay babies?"

3/7/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden: "There's a prank in my room so be careful if you go in there. There's k-nex and lincoln logs that will vibrate and fall on your head when you open the door." Me: "maybe you should take them down so no one gets hurt." Aiden: "If you're not dumb, you have nothing to worry about... because I just told you they're up there.... "

2-20-2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden bumped into one of Carson's toys and it started playing music. He said:

 "My bad... don't worry, it will turn off."

2/13/2012 Aiden - 6½ years

Aiden wanted to take a shower before school and I told him he didn't have time (he just took one the night before anyway). He said "It won't take that long, I have a small body.... YOU would take a lot longer..."

1-25-12 - Aiden - 6½ years

I'm still in bed and Aiden is getting a little to eager to start packing for our move. He comes in and says: 

 "Mom, can I pack my toys now" ... and I say "not right now, go downstairs" ... so he says "Ok, I'll do it" ... and I say as he's leaving "Aiden! I said not now" ... and he replies "WELL... my thinking is that you're too tired to answer me... so I'm going to go ahead and do it" 

1-2-12 - Aiden - 6½ years

I was editing pictures of naked babies (including Carson) for a calender and Aiden walks up:

Aiden -  "what you doing?"

Me - "editing this picture"

Aiden - "I know what's wrong with it... Carson doesn't have any underwear on and I can see his nuts a little bit"

12/25/2011 Aiden 6½ years

Christmas Day
"Mommy, Santa came!! There are like 15 presents! I told you we were on the good list! You were WRONG!"

12/22/2011 Aiden 6½ years

Aiden (from the bathroom) "Mommy.... I didn't know my wiener was facing the wrong way and it peed on my underwear... when I tried to fix it, it peed on the floor... then I finally got it right. I'm trying to clean it up but I'm going to need some new underwear mom...."

12/21/2011 Aiden - 6½ years

Mr. Dramatic... Aiden comes downstairs "YOU LEFT ME IN THE DARK!" / Me: "so turn the hall way light on and get back in bed. / Aiden: "I'LL JUST FREAK OUT! It was all grey when I was in there!"

12/19/2011 - Aiden - 6½ years old

Aiden: "I need a drink" / Me: "It's coming Mister" / Aiden: "Why'd you call me Mister?" /  Me: "Because you're a mister" /  Aiden: "Oh yeah... well I'll call you woman from now on!"

12/14/2011 – Aiden - 6½ years old.

Aiden: "no one likes me" / Me: "you should be nice to them" / Aiden: "I am nice...except to that one kid... he's mean. He even killed a kindergartener" / Me: don't you think he'd be in jail if he did that?" / Aiden: "His Mom's in jail... he said so... for speed driving."

12/6/2011 – Aiden – 6½ years old

Aiden: Mom can I have reeses puffs for breakfast? / Me: No, that's a friday cereal. You can't have sugary cereal every day / Aiden: Well, I'm sick of Kix mom... and I talked to a kid that has reeses puffs every day. He's in 3rd grade and he's not even dead yet...

11/26/2011 – Aiden – 6½ years old

Aiden was watching TV and some advertisement came one for a weight loss product. He goes "Mommy, does Grandma need to lose her excess weight and get rid of her fat?" I said "I don't know, you'll have to ask her" and he goes "Because it's going to take ALL my money just for one pack of pills!!"

09/26/2011 – Aiden – 6½ years

Aiden "A girl has a crush on me" me: "how do you know that?" Aiden: "because she tried to KISS me! and she even made a sign with her hand that says you REALLY love someone"

8/22/11 – Aiden – 6 years

me: "Aiden, you need to control yourself and be good." Aiden: "I can't be good all the time… it's in my brain to be naughty sometimes. If you want it out, I'll need brain surgery. It would hurt and be really messy and people can even die... Do you want me to have brain surgery Mommy?"

7/21/2011 – Aiden – 6 years

aiden was putting in a DVD and it had fingerprints on it so I told him to wipe it off on his shorts. he wiped the side w/ the picture so I said "other side" and he said "like this?" as he took the movie and wiped it on the back of his pants instead.